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| | Description | "Sunshine, you're my baby and I'm your only mother. You must mind the one taking care of you, but she's not your mama." Ashley Rhodes-Courter spent nine years of her life in fourteen different foster homes, living by those words. As her mother spirals out of control, Ashley is left clinging to an unpredictable, dissolving relationship, all the while getting pulled deeper and deeper into the foster care system.Painful memories of being taken away from her home quickly become consumed by real-life horrors, where Ashley is juggled between caseworkers, shuffled from school to school, and forced to endure manipulative,humiliating treatment from a very abusive foster family. In this inspiring, unforgettable memoir, Ashley finds the courage to succeed - and in doing so, discovers the power of her own voice. | |
| | Product Details | | Author: | Ashley Rhodes-Courter | | Hardcover: | 320 pages | | Publisher: | Atheneum | | Publication Date: | January 08, 2008 | | Language: | English | | ISBN: | 1416948066 | | Package Length: | 8.3 inches | | Package Width: | 5.8 inches | | Package Height: | 1.2 inches | | Package Weight: | 0.85 pounds | | Average Customer Rating: |  based on 37 reviews |
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A must have book if you are involved with social services or children in the system Oct 31, 2008
I have purchased over a dozen copies of this book. I literally give them away to people. Ashley Rhodes-Courter is a success story. Unfortunately not all kids in foster care get to have a success story. Ashley aptly shows the reality of living in foster care in an engaging and spellbinding way. I have adopted 3 children out of foster care, 2 of them older child special needs adoptions with RAD. It is a tough life plan, but so necessary and more importantly, fulfilling. Many people will ask us about our adopted children's stories but we have to always answer, "that is confidential." Ashley provides us with a book that we can give people and say this is what it is like to be an older child waiting in the system for a forever family - and watching "forever" families disrupt. Older child adoptions are NOT easy, but they are worth it. Ashley travels and lectures so keep your eyes open (or check her web-site) and take the opportunity to meet her in person and get your book signed. Don't buy just one copy of this book, buy two and give one to a friend.
 True Life Story of A Foster Child Oct 24, 2008
When I read the last few chapters of this book I couldn't stop crying. What a wonderfully inspiring true story! Sometimes, dreams do end up coming true, even for foster children.
The first part of the book asks some important questions: what makes someone fit to be a mother - or a substitute mother? Ashley was nurtured and loved by a dysfunctional grandfather and his enabling girlfriend, and actually, that was where she should have stayed. These two people loved her dearly but weren't exactly model citizens; grandpa drank a little bit too much, and did engage in some questionable behavior when he drove drunk with his toddler grandson in the car.
It would have cost taxpayers and society far less if the family had been kept together. I am not an advocate of family reunification programs in general, but in this family's case, the outcome would have most likely been positive. Ashley's mother was incapable of raising her children, but her relatives were far more able, and completely willing to accept the responsibility. And a drunk grandpa would have been paradise compared to the hell that Ashley and her brother Luke endured over the next decade of their lives. They were taken away from their grandfather and placed with abusive foster parents, including one foster mother who punished her wards by making them drink hot sauce.
When Ashley dared to confide in someone about the abuse, she was tagged as a liar and a manipulator. She learned to keep quiet and to silently endure whatever was done to her by her foster parents. Her only savior was her court-appointed CASA advocate, also called a guardian-ad-litem, an unpaid volunteer who represents the best interests of children in foster care. However, there aren't enough advocates to meet the needs of every child, and it was several years before Ashley was assigned a CASA volunteer.
Some parts of Ashley's story may prove difficult to read if you've walked in her shoes and you have unresolved personal issues, abandonment, abuse, etc. Don't expect to get much sleep the night you finish reading this book.
A series of improbable coincidences would lead Ashley out of foster care and orphanages. What happened to her was nothing short of a miracle. She won the foster care child lottery, and was given a second chance at a new life. I highly recommend this book.
A Story of Courage and Hope Oct 19, 2008
I real a lot of fiction, and this book was a departure from my usual literary fare. I was not disappointed. I listened to the book on CD during a long drive and was hooked. As a CASA, I understand how the system works, and how often children are under-served. On the flip side, I have encountered wonderful foster/adoptive families who have worked tirelessly to improve the lives of children. This book is refreshingly honest. Ashley Rhodes-Courter is articulate, passionate, and courageous. I recommend this read to everyone.
Excellent resource to give insight into the child's thoughts Oct 07, 2008
This book was excellent. It gave me some very good insight into what our older adopted daughter might be thinking. I would recommend it to anyone that is considering adopting an older child.
You are my sunshine... Sep 16, 2008
I'll preface this review by saying that I am a young man that does not normally cry, and although I managed to avoid tears, my throat has never felt so compressed as I held them back. On a hot summer day I visited a non-profit organization named CASA, which stands for Court Appointed Special Advocates. CASA seeks volunteers, then thoroughly trains those volunteers to track and advocate for children under the care of the state. All of the children that are in custody of the government are referred to a Child Protective Services agency that is overwhelmed and understaffed. Thus, CPS agents routinely end up with dozens of children to watch out for and they often end up doing a poor job. CASA is there to make sure that these children do not fall through the cracks.
Anyway, while at CASA, a lady asked me what I knew about the organization and more importantly, the thousands of children in foster care and orphanages in the country. I admitted that I knew little, if anything. She then grabbed a copy of "Three Little Words" from the book shelf and gave me a copy with the challenge that I read it at once. I did. Since, I have paid visits to all of the CASA chapters in my region and donate funds to them whenever possible.
"Three Little Words" follows the plight of Ashley & Luke, siblings whose parents are in and out of trouble throughout their childhood. These kids spend time in horrible and average foster homes as well as orphanages for the next decade. Ashley does a wonderful job of highlighting the difficulty that a child has in grasping the changes in the world around her. How can a five year old child understand that her parents aren't fit to take care of them? How do they understand that adults are not meant to be feared when they are routinely abused and not looked after? As mentioned, this should be a MUST-READ for any foster parents-to-be, CPS personnel and prospective adoptive parents. It is a recommended read for everyone else.
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